Some of this will be hard to read. It was hard to write.
This was me in the best shape of my life (so far), 2004 Ironman Switzerland
After wrapping up my last two startups in early 2020, I found myself further away than ever from what I considered my true self — my athletic self. From quarterbacking my high school football team to racing Ironman on three continents, a big part of my identity is built around my athletic pursuits. But I’m also a lifelong entrepreneur. The pendulum swings between entrepreneur and athlete have been dramatic.Startup culture has been romanticized. The thrill of starting your own company, creating its culture, that first customer, that next round of financing... it’s all real. But it’s also hard. Harder than you know. You can also feel utterly alone, misunderstood and like you’re constantly on the brink of failure. You do what you can to cope. I was too focused on the work and other people’s needs at the expense of my own well-being and happiness. The reality for me was ending up overweight, unhealthy—diabetes 2, sky high triglycerides. Hell, I was taking four medications every day just to try to feel normal. I was also depressed and beyond burned out.
I didn’t know any other way to work.
And the toll on physical and mental health for founders and start up veterans isn't just me. Stories of suicides abound. Hitting closer to home, two of my former employees killed themselves and others in the past few years. This was even before the pandemic became a factor where the mental health of every single one of us became a real issue.
Finding that elusive balance
Ironically, just prior to this, I had been in the best shape of my life. I thought I was bulletproof. When that began to change I was in total denial. It took a much needed trip to my doctor to stop me “dead” in my tracks.
I knew I needed to channel the ambition that drove my work, and formerly my workouts, into a more sustainable mixed existence. Last year I walked away from a non-stop obsession with work and invoked my inner Ironman to reclaim my story.
It didn’t start out pretty. The first few times on my bike sucked. It took longer and was harder than I could have imagined when I began this journey.
Here's how it's going: I’ve lost 75 pounds. I’d gained 100. I rode 4,200 miles. Last time I was on my bike was 2012. I eradicated my diabetes. All readings are normal. I lowered my blood pressure. Sometimes it’s too low now. My resting heart rate is 54. In addition to exercise and diet changes, I meditate daily. My triglycerides leveled out, I’m eating less meat, more vegetables. I finally started writing my book. I outlined it three years ago. And maybe most importantly, I found myself along with some sanity and perspective on what matters. And I'm not done.
What's Next? Being true to myself while helping others Taking advantage of an opportunity to commit to a new lifestyle and rethink life and business as well. I've created a new way forward for me and I see one for all of us. It’s work-life balance, yes, but in a more profound way. It starts with the people. Then onto products. And business models. And a brighter future that can come out of a locked down world.
—Jay
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